Pie Five Pizza

I love food.  I mean I really, really love food.  Rarely do I turn down the opportunity to eat delicious food, let alone try out a new restaurant.
When I was contacted by Pie Five Pizza with the offer to try out their latest location of North Central Expressway I, of course, accepted in a heartbeat.  Now, just because someone offers me some free food doesn’t mean that a) I’ll try it or b) I’ll enjoy it.  Willing to take a chance, Pie Five sent me a few vouchers so that I could check them out anyway.
At Pie Five Pizza you can choose from one of their creations or customize your own personal sized pizza.  Their website boasts that there are over 5 million combination possibilities.  Sounds like a challenge to me.
Intrigued by the concept, a self-proclaimed “Subway of pizza,” I stepped into the restaurant right off Knox and 75 South for a much-needed calorie boost while Christmas shopping.  Believe it or not, I am not the human version of the Grinch.
My first observation was that the menu posted on the wall behind the counter was fairly small and hard to read.  Granted, I am quasi-blind so I’m sure it isn’t difficult for some people to read but it was for me and I’m the one who counts here.  Not only is the text small, it’s also white writing on a black board which is hard to read regardless of the size of the text.  Thinking to myself, “Hmm…guess I’ll be creating my own pizza considering I can’t read shit” the young girl must have sensed my confusion and promptly asked if I would like their signature thick crust or thin crust.  Whoa, I get to choose my crust? Hell.Yes. I went with thick, le duh.
Creating my own pizza turned out to be quite the experience because not only did I get to pick which type of crust I wanted to enjoy but chose the sauce as well.  Yep, I said it.  Pie Five Pizza has several sauce options to choose from including: alfredo, spicy diavalo, garlic and of course, traditional marinara.  Not wanting to stray too far off course – I decided to go with the traditional.  After all, I wanted to be able to judge what most would consider “normal” pizza and making my pizza with alfredo sauce would already give Pie Five a major leg up.
Sure as shit there are several topping options, living up to their “Subway of pizza” proclamation.  Double sure as shit I stood confused as hell just like I do at actual Subways trying to dream up the perfect flavor combinations.  On this particular visit I went with a Hawaiian-like pie and my dining companion went with….every topping possible.
One of the best things about Pie Five Pizza is the steroid-infused oven.  This sucker perfectly cooks your pizza in 5 minutes or less. While I waited for my lunch to be served I perused the immaculately clean dining room.  Too often restaurants who focus on being “quick” end up being messy because of the high turnover (gross) but not here.  The floors had recently been swept, there wasn’t an ounce of trash on the empty tables and the beverage station was as clean as could be.  I could give a rats ass if I’m eating at Jack in the Box or Stephen Pyles, that bitch better be clean.
A mere 4 minutes after placing our order, two gorgeously baked pizzas arrived at our table.  Diving in mouth first, I was immediately impressed with how fresh everything tasted.
I’ll admit it.  I am the ultimate crust whore.  Nothing pisses me off more than people who don’t eat the crust of their pizza.   I have not and will not ever understand “those people.”  Luckily for me the thick crust at Pie Five was delicious and could rival some of the best pizza places in the city.  It was  just thin enough to not feel like it was all bread but still thick enough to feel like I was actually eating pizza. I wasn’t particularly impressed with the thin crust but then again that shit is a bit too healthy for me.  No matter where the pizza is from, thin crust tastes like someone took a fat dump of toppings on a cardboard box.
Something else I noticed while inhaling my lunch was that pizza boxes were readily available at the counter and in the dining room itself.  Such a simple gesture that means so much.  It is always annoying having to ask for a box for your leftovers but at Pie Five you can just walk right up and grab your own and be on your way.
Some of you may say that I am partial to Pie Five because they let me try them for free.  For those of you who say that, I say Fuck You try them out for yourself and see how awesome it is.
In the time that it would take you to call up a pizza delivery place and wait for your pizza, you could get your ass in the car and drive to Pie Five build a delicious creation, get home and eat it – All for a little over $6.  I mean really….is there any question which is the better option?

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