Velvet Taco

One of the most hyped restaurants to come to Dallas in quite some time is Velvet Taco.  Located on the corner of Henderson and 75 in the old Church’s chicken building, Velvet Taco has spent months revamping the digs and putting residents in a fury of anticipation with their “countdown until we open” sign right in front.  Miraculously, the sign said 6 days until opening day for about 4 days but nobody seemed to notice since that sweet, sweet scent of soon-to-be-devoured tacos filled our heads instead of common knowledge.
The ball buster that Velvet Taco already seems to be with that sign was only further enhanced when about 95% of the city was expecting opening day to be this past weekend, however, they actually opened on Wednesday.  Not one to ever turn down a taco and forever trying to find something to crush my obsession with Taco Bell (ya, I said it) I got my ass to Velvet Taco as soon as I could.
The exterior paint job of this stand alone restaurant looks like Rainbow Brite herself threw up in order to make the terrifying masterpiece.  I can’t say I frequented Church’s chicken so I had nothing to go off of but I was surprised at how small the inside was.  There is limited bar seating along the back window, as well as a few awkward communal tables. Something tells me the seating arrangements will change once the word on Velvet Taco gets out.
I was so excited to finally try Velvet Taco and I wanted to make sure I gave it a fair chance since I have a tendency to order that one menu item that sucks more often than not.  Between myself and the homies, we ordered up, or at least tried to.  Apparently at Velvet Taco if you try to actually order the taco by name it confuses the shit out of the cashier so be sure to order by numbers…which is a super good idea since this is will undoubtedly be the new late-night drunk munchies fill-up station with the upcoming open 24hrs schedule on weekends.  Double-popped collar SMU kids and Uptown’s finest 30,000 dollar millionaires will declare this the new pound town in no time.
So, after running back to menu and finding which numbers, not tacos, to order we were good to go.  About 7 minutes later a fun little taco stand graced our communal table full of the #3, 4, 15 and 17.  Oh, I’m sorry. What the hell do those numbers mean? Well…here we go
#3) Crisp Fried Chicken: If you have a sick obsession with blue cheese flavored everything then this is the one for you.  I, on the other hand enjoy crisp, fried, meat of a chicken when I order “Crisp Fried Chicken.” Weird.  Not only is the taco topped with blue cheese crumbles but the RANCH DRESSING is blue cheese infused.  Forgive me father, for I have sinned.  I believe that this is actually a blue cheese taco that they decided to add the left over Church’s from the back room to.
#4) Wild Mushroom: The wild mushroom taco comes in a lettuce wrap but I got it in a tortilla, naturally. A vegetable wrapped in a vegetable just sounds a little too healthy to me.  Coming off that crisp fried ass taco, the wild mushroom was a pleasant and redeeming surprise.  The mushrooms had a slight BBQ taste which I didn’t mind but the herb goat cheese overpowered that awesome taste that wild mushrooms tend to have.  The purple potatoes that top the taco are a lovely addition and all in all I would get the #4 again.
#15) Cornmeal fried oysters: You may be thinking, oysters in a taco?  It is actually delicious and Velvet Taco found a way to make the flavor explosion work.  The oysters are topped with fennel-raddish slaw and vegetables of the like to make this taco a must try.
#16) Ahi Poke: FAB! I love me some raw fish and was hesitant to try it at Church’s chicken, oops, I mean Velvet Taco.  Perfect, melt-in-your-mouth ahi and avocado cubes are wrapped in lettuce and topped with sesame seeds.  The Asian dressing on this taco can be a little overwhelming but everything else works so beautifully that its easy to look past that minor flaw.  Let’s just hope that the quality of the produce and ahi stay as high as it is now when the crowds grow.
As one of my lovely twitter followers said so eloquently, “Velvet Taco makes white people tacos” and I couldn’t agree more.  I am all for culinary exploration and Velvet Taco’s delivers with a menu that was clearly made by someone rolling on X, but what happened to the taco’s we all know and love? Ground beef anyone?
Peace, Love, Calories

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